I remember the first time I asked my wife out and she said yes it wasn't that romantic you see we both worked at the same place and many times we closed the eatery together and so romantic me I chose this great romantic spot next to the dumpster where we both were hauling multiple trash bags to strike up this conversation. She looked radiant to me and finally she said yes after we had taken breaks together gotten to know each other and became friends.
Somehow she was able to see past the trash I was hauling and said yes and that was our beginning 25 years ago this coming summer. Three years later she would stand with me side by side minus the trash, all in white and letting go of her dad's hand and grabbing mine to be married. God has richly blessed me on so many levels with someone who is committed to me and allowed me to commit to her for the rest of my life - she is an answer to a prayer that I prayed for and is everything that I asked God for and so much more.
She makes me want to strive to be the man God would have me to be and the father to the three daughters that we have together. My wife reached for her dreams of nursing after all 3 girls were in school during the day, we sacrificed so that she could stay at home while the girls were small and I was so glad that we were able to accomplish that. Nursing school was interesting and in 2005 my wife became a nurse and her patients got to see the care and grace that I saw in her everyday it was the perfect fit.
In 2007 my wife transferred to become a Nurse Cancer Navigator - what this means is when someone is diagnosed with cancer my wife steps in and is able to consult with the patient as a liaison between doctor and family, she coordinates care, educates, provides support for both patient and family and becomes a listening ear to those who have just heard the news and are facing the road ahead, she navigates this road with them.
I don't know alot about medical terminology, but speaking as her husband whom God chose to allow me to navigate life with she is an excellent navigator to assist you on this journey ahead. Her strength, faith and grace allow her to provide the kind of care and hope that you and your family can depend on, and I speak from experience. It is with her heart that she listens, with her knowledge that she cares and educates and with her love that she provides the strength for the patient to fight the battles ahead.
I am so proud of the difference she makes in the lives of her patients and while I know that those she meets at work have heard the worse news of their lives they have an ally with whom they will be meeting to navigate the road ahead.
Thank you for navigating this life with me, I am blessed beyond measure Lib.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
9/11/01 - In an American History Book -
It is hard to believe that we are approaching a decade since that terrible September morning in 2001, the weather of an excessively hot summer in 2011 has cooled off and we are having clear skies and it is reminding me of that morning as well.
Today, however something different happened, an almost surreal experience I was talking with my daughter about school as she was studying and there on her bed lay her American History book. I picked it up and decided to flip to the back and saw 9/11 being reported in it. The images of 9/11 were pictured there just in a history book, the fireball of the second tower had been seared so much into my brain that I could almost see it moving in the photo. My daughters were very young 6, 7 and 9 when it happened and they remember that day well, we all remember when days when we see our parents crying, this time day they saw a nation crying.
9/11 tore all of us apart and brought us all together at the same time, flags were everywhere and we filled our churches and the prayers of a nation went up to God, and now here I sit 10 years later in Oklahoma reading about it in a history book. My father was still alive on that day although he did have a heart episode the day before he was recovering nicely on the heart floor of a hospital and all of the televisions were unplugged on the floor when the planes hit the tower for fear it would cause the patients to have heart attacks. I remember going to see my dad that afternoon after work to talk to him after my mom had tried to gently explained what happened as he had been recovering. When your at the hospital you are cut off from a normal environment anyway so to have a thing like 9/11 happen while you are recuperating I suppose would be like waking up from a nightmare and almost wishing you could go back to being sick again because it was normal before this happened.
My dad was a retired military sergeant he told me he wished he could put his uniform back on and join back up and maybe he should call and offer surely he could help out at a desk should they need it, and I said dad your retired and they can handle it, but that was my father, he would have been in the desert had his heart not been sick.
It is one thing to read about the events that day in the history books it was an entirely different thing to live through that day. They say that there are few veterans of WWII left living however there is a project going on where those men and women are being interviewed so that their stories will be preserved the eye witness accounts that will tell the story and pass it down for generations, this generation will be known as a generation who lived during the worst terrorist attack on American soil - we witnessed everything and the loss and heroism we saw that day will never be forgotten.
Today, however something different happened, an almost surreal experience I was talking with my daughter about school as she was studying and there on her bed lay her American History book. I picked it up and decided to flip to the back and saw 9/11 being reported in it. The images of 9/11 were pictured there just in a history book, the fireball of the second tower had been seared so much into my brain that I could almost see it moving in the photo. My daughters were very young 6, 7 and 9 when it happened and they remember that day well, we all remember when days when we see our parents crying, this time day they saw a nation crying.
9/11 tore all of us apart and brought us all together at the same time, flags were everywhere and we filled our churches and the prayers of a nation went up to God, and now here I sit 10 years later in Oklahoma reading about it in a history book. My father was still alive on that day although he did have a heart episode the day before he was recovering nicely on the heart floor of a hospital and all of the televisions were unplugged on the floor when the planes hit the tower for fear it would cause the patients to have heart attacks. I remember going to see my dad that afternoon after work to talk to him after my mom had tried to gently explained what happened as he had been recovering. When your at the hospital you are cut off from a normal environment anyway so to have a thing like 9/11 happen while you are recuperating I suppose would be like waking up from a nightmare and almost wishing you could go back to being sick again because it was normal before this happened.
My dad was a retired military sergeant he told me he wished he could put his uniform back on and join back up and maybe he should call and offer surely he could help out at a desk should they need it, and I said dad your retired and they can handle it, but that was my father, he would have been in the desert had his heart not been sick.
It is one thing to read about the events that day in the history books it was an entirely different thing to live through that day. They say that there are few veterans of WWII left living however there is a project going on where those men and women are being interviewed so that their stories will be preserved the eye witness accounts that will tell the story and pass it down for generations, this generation will be known as a generation who lived during the worst terrorist attack on American soil - we witnessed everything and the loss and heroism we saw that day will never be forgotten.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
9/11 The Day that Changed the World - A View from the Harbor
"The New Colossus"
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
Emma Lazarus, 1883
A View from the Harbor, Smoke at the Golden Door
Darren W Stewart 9/11/01
Welcoming those that came before
My torch beside the Golden door
Burning bright this clear morn
the September my heart was torn
Twin Citadels, towering, etching sky
ablaze this day, billowing high
the tempest-tost, the sirens wail
the bravery true freedom's hail
Weeping, mourning I lift my light
my torch once hope, now breaks the night
for those to search to hear a heart
My light still burns I won't depart
I stand still proud, full of hope
for the ones left behind to cope
with such tragedy, injustice, fear
Let those that witnessed draw near
And through the tears and the flames
let me stand still brightly without my frame
of towers on the shore now and forever more
and my essence still doth freedom ring.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Surrounded by So Great a Cloud of Estrogen -
I have the privilege of being married to the woman of my dreams and one who I know God destined me to be with. God blessed me when I became the father of 3 daughters. The reaction I get when I tell people I have 3 daughters is mixed, some look at me as if to sympathize others look at me as if I never get to watch a football game. Sometimes I get that knowing look from dads that says aren't girls awesome! There are those things that I may never understand about females, however I can tell you after living with 4 for the last 16 years of my life you do pick up on a few things, like when to shut up and say nothing, silence can be golden or other times it can be plutonium (totally radioactive with all the makings of a nuclear blast).
Girls absolutely love to hear their dad say I love you, but they also can never hear it enough, girls love to be surprised and they can be as adventurous and do some of the same things you did as a boy growing up. During the girls younger years on every other weekend their mom had to work at the hospital so we would go on adventures. We visited the Laura Ingalls Wilder Home in Marshfield, Mo and one time we were in Branson and instead of turning north back towards home in the middle of the afternoon I thought it was to soon to end our adventure and we just headed to Arkanasas and had a great time together.
Something that I can never do enough of and always want to do more of is take each of my daughters on dates for one on one time, its imperative to spend some quality time individually with each girl, and I always had a few rules on these dates
rule 1 I always paid
rule 2 she always picked the place or activity
rule 3 no technology if possible -
rule 4 talk to each other
rule 5 - get the door for her, chair for her and treat her as if this was her special night
rule 6 - if you can get a memento from this night - a movie ticket stub, a flower to her something for her.
There are a couple of things that are accomplished by doing this, 1) you get quality time with her and it helps her self image as she grows up and 2) and this is the biggie - she learns how a girl is to be treated when on a date. You can be sure that you have set the bar when it comes to dating and she will be able to recognize what a gentlemen is and how she is supposed to be treated.
I admit there are subjects that are best handled by mom when it comes to daughters and I gladly abdicate those wholeheartedly, but my wife is excellent at pulling me in when its a good idea or telling me that she has got this.
The other thing I am learning about girls is that they grow up to be women, faster than you want them to be, and no matter when you see them you can still see your little girl. If you have seen Father of the Bride - its the part where she is telling him she is getting married only he see's like a 4 year old- yeah that really happened the first time my daughter asked me for the keys to the car... Slam are you kidding me? when did that happen?
Letting go is something that is really tough- you never really let go of them because they are part of you and you hold them with your heart, however you do let them make decisions and venture out, move out or stay in another state and then you feel something missing a piece of yourself is in the world that once came home to sleep under your roof each night - its the weirdest feeling it leaves you wanting to put everything back and I find myself frequently looking at pictures of putting 3 little girls on the bus or taking them to school.
I am still learning and still have millions to learn about the women God has blessed me in my life with however I am so grateful for each one of them each and every day.
Girls absolutely love to hear their dad say I love you, but they also can never hear it enough, girls love to be surprised and they can be as adventurous and do some of the same things you did as a boy growing up. During the girls younger years on every other weekend their mom had to work at the hospital so we would go on adventures. We visited the Laura Ingalls Wilder Home in Marshfield, Mo and one time we were in Branson and instead of turning north back towards home in the middle of the afternoon I thought it was to soon to end our adventure and we just headed to Arkanasas and had a great time together.
Something that I can never do enough of and always want to do more of is take each of my daughters on dates for one on one time, its imperative to spend some quality time individually with each girl, and I always had a few rules on these dates
rule 1 I always paid
rule 2 she always picked the place or activity
rule 3 no technology if possible -
rule 4 talk to each other
rule 5 - get the door for her, chair for her and treat her as if this was her special night
rule 6 - if you can get a memento from this night - a movie ticket stub, a flower to her something for her.
There are a couple of things that are accomplished by doing this, 1) you get quality time with her and it helps her self image as she grows up and 2) and this is the biggie - she learns how a girl is to be treated when on a date. You can be sure that you have set the bar when it comes to dating and she will be able to recognize what a gentlemen is and how she is supposed to be treated.
I admit there are subjects that are best handled by mom when it comes to daughters and I gladly abdicate those wholeheartedly, but my wife is excellent at pulling me in when its a good idea or telling me that she has got this.
The other thing I am learning about girls is that they grow up to be women, faster than you want them to be, and no matter when you see them you can still see your little girl. If you have seen Father of the Bride - its the part where she is telling him she is getting married only he see's like a 4 year old- yeah that really happened the first time my daughter asked me for the keys to the car... Slam are you kidding me? when did that happen?
Letting go is something that is really tough- you never really let go of them because they are part of you and you hold them with your heart, however you do let them make decisions and venture out, move out or stay in another state and then you feel something missing a piece of yourself is in the world that once came home to sleep under your roof each night - its the weirdest feeling it leaves you wanting to put everything back and I find myself frequently looking at pictures of putting 3 little girls on the bus or taking them to school.
I am still learning and still have millions to learn about the women God has blessed me in my life with however I am so grateful for each one of them each and every day.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Change - at a price.
Growing up in the military you quickly learn not to get used to your surroundings for very long because the military would always have another station or new orders for your dad to carry out, and your world and everything around you could change very quickly. I can remember as a kid celebrating the last day of school in the 4th grade and anticipating the beginning of summer. The last bell of the day ringing, the excitement of the walk home with an empty backpack except for the stuff I had cleaned out of my desk. Summer's seemed to last an eternity then. I opened the front door of my house excited to begin the long hot Missouri summer to find out that we would be moving to Germany for the next 3 years.
Change can be a stressor, sometimes we have a warning that it is coming, sometimes we walk through a door and it is there to greet us and in one instant we are going a different direction. "We would like for you to consider retirement now...", "The test results are positive...", "We are moving the company in a different direction..." "We would like for you to consider moving to another office located in another state...", no matter how the change hits it takes a moment, we take a breath and in that moment we come to a fork in the road. There is a choice to make or perhaps the choice has been made for us and we are to just follow the assignment. Those moments can bring us to a place we never thought we would be five minutes ago, because five minutes ago it was just the beginning of summer right?
Change brought us from Missouri to Oklahoma, my wife was offered an opportunity with a local hospital and after weighing out everything and looking at all of the changes that this meant we had questions, BIG ones.
Change many times often makes us ask questions, Germany? where is Germany ? Why did this happen to me? how does this happen? It is within these moments of change that I am so thankful for my relationship with Christ. Without Him all you have are questions, but knowing Him, having a personal relationship with Him, you get the answers. You are able to bring those questions to Him in prayer, to talk with him about how you feel. He loves to hear us ask why, how, and where, more importantly He loves answering us. If you feel wronged by a friend, an employer, a spouse, a parent, tell Him, talk with Him. If you don't understand something that is going on in your life, ask Him to show you why. He knows you, He understands you more than anyone. He loves you and it is His joy to draw you closer to Him. He is in pursuit of you and that is perhaps all the more reason for big changes to happen and big questions to come about in your life for I have found in those moments I draw nearer to Him, rely on Him, not to just get me through it, but to get to know Him more. Many times we go through our Christian walk when change hits us feeling like we are barely holding on to God, when in fact it is He that holds us the entire time.
How wonderful that the cost of this change of knowing Him, the full price has already been paid by Him, He has already paid with His life, all we have to do is accept Him.
Change can be a stressor, sometimes we have a warning that it is coming, sometimes we walk through a door and it is there to greet us and in one instant we are going a different direction. "We would like for you to consider retirement now...", "The test results are positive...", "We are moving the company in a different direction..." "We would like for you to consider moving to another office located in another state...", no matter how the change hits it takes a moment, we take a breath and in that moment we come to a fork in the road. There is a choice to make or perhaps the choice has been made for us and we are to just follow the assignment. Those moments can bring us to a place we never thought we would be five minutes ago, because five minutes ago it was just the beginning of summer right?
Change brought us from Missouri to Oklahoma, my wife was offered an opportunity with a local hospital and after weighing out everything and looking at all of the changes that this meant we had questions, BIG ones.
Change many times often makes us ask questions, Germany? where is Germany ? Why did this happen to me? how does this happen? It is within these moments of change that I am so thankful for my relationship with Christ. Without Him all you have are questions, but knowing Him, having a personal relationship with Him, you get the answers. You are able to bring those questions to Him in prayer, to talk with him about how you feel. He loves to hear us ask why, how, and where, more importantly He loves answering us. If you feel wronged by a friend, an employer, a spouse, a parent, tell Him, talk with Him. If you don't understand something that is going on in your life, ask Him to show you why. He knows you, He understands you more than anyone. He loves you and it is His joy to draw you closer to Him. He is in pursuit of you and that is perhaps all the more reason for big changes to happen and big questions to come about in your life for I have found in those moments I draw nearer to Him, rely on Him, not to just get me through it, but to get to know Him more. Many times we go through our Christian walk when change hits us feeling like we are barely holding on to God, when in fact it is He that holds us the entire time.
How wonderful that the cost of this change of knowing Him, the full price has already been paid by Him, He has already paid with His life, all we have to do is accept Him.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
God's Promise - in an Epic Storm
Broken Arrow, Oklahoma became our home in January of 2011, it also became the bulls eye of the strongest Blizzard in recent history this past week, and it is not over yet, we have more snow called for in the forecast. We have spent time together inside, keeping in touch with loved ones in Missouri and monitoring Facebook. Cars and trucks were abandoned on a closed down I 44 from Tulsa to Springfield, Missouri, and it felt strange that even if we wanted to get back to where we had lived for years we could not get there with the main interstate closed down for days.
Storms have a way of putting us on alert, the warnings ring out, our senses are conditioned to pay attention and to make sure you are prepared to seek shelter, and to make sure you have taken certain precautions in order to protect yourself and your family. We immediately went to the store to stock up on basic food and supplies gearing up to be trapped for a few days, and it was there as I looked at some empty shelves, that I realized how we are truly blessed to live in a time when we have big huge markets to go to, can you imagine how our ancestors that coped with storms like this where they were trapped for days and made due with what was available and stored and stocked up, today we panic if we think we will not be able to get to the store for 3 or 4 days.
Storms have this way of measuring us giving us a barometer of where we may be in our faith, we don't have to be in a boat and feel the waves all of sudden come up on us any more, no we now have the capability of viewing Doppler radar and seeing the gathering clouds coming in over the Rockies from space so that we can really build up our fear days before so that it has plenty of time to really set in our hearts and give us even more time to worry, to let fear come over you, to cause you to rush to the store and buy 3 carts full of groceries just in case you have to go 4 days without getting to the store.
Just like the 12 disciples waking up a sleeping Jesus, telling Him it was storming, we hit our panic button, we start thinking about what we can do to help ourselves in this situation which assumes we have some sort of control when the storms of life can come across but every once in awhile the size of the storm is so epic that you realize that there is only Christ who has control, we can shovel, we can stock up, run to the store and buy groceries, but the storm hits and God reminds us that He holds our life and has a plan that He is bringing to fulfillment. The night in the boat, the storm came, the disciples panic, the Lord is sleeping, they wake Him, and then He calms the sea and quiets the storm. Many of us who are familiar with the ending of this story read over it and we miss the purpose, we jump to the end because we anticipate it, Jesus stopped the storm He CALMED the sea, in doing so the purpose of the storm is revealed, more importantly He was revealed to them, what an amazing experience to draw on, to live through to witness and to rely on. Can you imagine the impact on their faith, living through that, seeing Christ calm the storm, these were the men that would carry on to establish the church after He was crucified, they would give testimony to who He was, they would face more storms in their life to come with the experience of knowing the one who with one command they saw him calm the sea.
God is still in control today, in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, the epic Blizzard of 2011 has made its place in history even as the drifts are still at my front door about 2 feet high, I am reminded that no matter how deep the snow will drift or the winds will blow, God is in control, and has a plan here in Oklahoma, for each person to come to know Him, and have a relationship with Him.
Storms have a way of putting us on alert, the warnings ring out, our senses are conditioned to pay attention and to make sure you are prepared to seek shelter, and to make sure you have taken certain precautions in order to protect yourself and your family. We immediately went to the store to stock up on basic food and supplies gearing up to be trapped for a few days, and it was there as I looked at some empty shelves, that I realized how we are truly blessed to live in a time when we have big huge markets to go to, can you imagine how our ancestors that coped with storms like this where they were trapped for days and made due with what was available and stored and stocked up, today we panic if we think we will not be able to get to the store for 3 or 4 days.
Storms have this way of measuring us giving us a barometer of where we may be in our faith, we don't have to be in a boat and feel the waves all of sudden come up on us any more, no we now have the capability of viewing Doppler radar and seeing the gathering clouds coming in over the Rockies from space so that we can really build up our fear days before so that it has plenty of time to really set in our hearts and give us even more time to worry, to let fear come over you, to cause you to rush to the store and buy 3 carts full of groceries just in case you have to go 4 days without getting to the store.
Just like the 12 disciples waking up a sleeping Jesus, telling Him it was storming, we hit our panic button, we start thinking about what we can do to help ourselves in this situation which assumes we have some sort of control when the storms of life can come across but every once in awhile the size of the storm is so epic that you realize that there is only Christ who has control, we can shovel, we can stock up, run to the store and buy groceries, but the storm hits and God reminds us that He holds our life and has a plan that He is bringing to fulfillment. The night in the boat, the storm came, the disciples panic, the Lord is sleeping, they wake Him, and then He calms the sea and quiets the storm. Many of us who are familiar with the ending of this story read over it and we miss the purpose, we jump to the end because we anticipate it, Jesus stopped the storm He CALMED the sea, in doing so the purpose of the storm is revealed, more importantly He was revealed to them, what an amazing experience to draw on, to live through to witness and to rely on. Can you imagine the impact on their faith, living through that, seeing Christ calm the storm, these were the men that would carry on to establish the church after He was crucified, they would give testimony to who He was, they would face more storms in their life to come with the experience of knowing the one who with one command they saw him calm the sea.
God is still in control today, in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, the epic Blizzard of 2011 has made its place in history even as the drifts are still at my front door about 2 feet high, I am reminded that no matter how deep the snow will drift or the winds will blow, God is in control, and has a plan here in Oklahoma, for each person to come to know Him, and have a relationship with Him.
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